Im getting Old and Rusty.

Salam,

I've been itching to write this post down, don't know why, but i hope words can do justice to my feelings, here goes.

14th August, a day when we all celebrate Pakistan's independence day. For years it was celebrated with great zeal and zest. I remember the time when we used to go out for shopping, especially to get our Pakistani flags and Jhandiaan (little paper flags). Our streets would turn Green and white when August kicked in. The feeling, is just unexplainable.

Over the years, I saw how the colours rapidly changed, barely any flags around streets as there used to be, the Jazba, to me, seemed punctured too, but nonetheless, days passed, 14th Augusts passed. Every year.

This year round, I questioned myself, what independence was for me? I sit here in wilayt, talking about how i am a Pakistani, how I'm Green, how I would go back to Pakistan, how I miss it! Pakistan turns 65 years old this year, a figure that's just not a number, but each passing day contributes to its survival.

Like always, i saw the colours around me change, more patriotic than i expected, i was over the moon, it felt so good. But then it occurred to me, HOW did we get independence, WHY did we get independence, was it because we wanted to be called Pakistanis? What were all those tales about, stories around partition, people talking about sacrifices, people talking about death!

Death, my friend, is not a joke, those who have experienced a loss around them, know the feeling.

Today, i learnt, the youth in Pakistan is very zealous, MashaAllah. Turning Green still does tell how involved you are, how you take out your precious time and go through the pain of 'creating' a green DP to show your love, because you wouldn't have, if you didn't care, otherwise.

Living here, i was urged to think, my conscience not letting me sleep, until i got the answer. Why do i feel more safe around here? Why are more people, each day moving out, ironic, 'who's stopping them?'. Why do i hear horrible news, every single day? Why am i compelled to changed the news channels, Pakistani news channels, every time a bulletin is about to come? Why do we feel more patriotic outside Pakistan than being inside? (not questioning anyone's patriotism, questioning in general!)

Bomb blasts, political turmoil, terrorism, extremism, rapes, murders, gang fights, killings, abduction, kidnapping, loadshedding be it electricity or gas, horrible education structure what else? How long can it go? Who's responsible?

Too long have i adopted the ostrich approach, each day i plan to be an optimist, each day i wish for things to get better around. I wonder if there's a limit to failing.

This year i realised, we have adopted nationalism as a religion when it comes to events like 23rd march or 14th august, we tend to forget it around the other days of the year. We've forgotten why we got this piece of land in the first place, a land we call home, a land we take for-granted.

Its time to act, a time to contemplate. Its been 65 Years since we got this land, and there's no doubt that we've been rolling down as a state since then, there have been highs, no doubt, but the negativity, the image around, it covers it all up, eats it up like a flame would to wood.

I feel like I'm on a mission, every day, when i step out into the world, fighting with myself, fighting with people's beliefs around me, how they perceive Pakistan, and me being a Pakistani. We all have a duty, we're indebted to our ancestors, to their sacrifices.

Hum Layee Hain Toofaan Se Kashti Nikaal Kay 

Iss Mulk ko Rakhna Mere Bacho Sambhal Kay.

Today, I urge every single one of you, just to think, for 5-10 minutes what being a Pakistani means to you, and why, just reflect on Pakistan's history and struggles, and our responsibilities as youth and Pakistanis. Once we realise and act, the sooner the better.

No doubt Pakistan is not just about what I mentioned above, there's so much more. Here's a heart warming video to make you smile.

May Allah instil in us love for our religion, love for our faith, and realisation of how history was made for no one else but US! 

Hope you ponder over what's getting old and rusty.

Much Love, 

NewbieAround. x